Plant The Spear: Idaho Vandals
Plant The Spear is a weekly column previewing the upcoming matchup for the Florida State Seminoles. As a newly anointed father, I decided that it would be best to talk about the things that really matter to fans – tailgating, food, out-of-town watering holes, weather, betting lines and of course, cheerleaders – never forget the cheerleaders. If you’re looking for your typically stuffy and recycled game preview that practically every other sports website has, don’t read this. Go somewhere else. However, if you enjoy a take on college football that’s mixed with pop culture references and a little witty banter all smothered in sarcasm, we’ll get along just fine.
*Author’s Note* As always, this is a No Homer Zone. Regardless of my membership with the Seminole Boosters, or my being a Florida State fan since I was 10 (I’m 32 now), or the fact that my wife is an FSU grad – I’m a college football fan above all else. Consumption of Seminole Kool-Aid will not be tolerated.
Breakdown: Can’t a guy go on vacation without a college football sex scandal breaking out? Honestly, I’m not really going to get mixed up in all the over-hyped, sensationalized, non fact checking and speculative garbage that is floating around out there. I’m certainly not leaping into the pit of despair in regards to this story, jumping the gun while reporting every single tidbit as “fact” or using the old “sources say” gimmick and making up wild accusations just to get a few page clicks. There is no reason to. Our very own Jay Mariotti absolutely nailed it when it comes to this entire situation. If you haven’t read Mariotti’s take on the Winston saga, go ahead and do that right now. I don’t mind. Just make sure and come back so you can learn about Joe Vandal and the Kibbie Dome. And tater tots.
When this is all resolved next week (as I and many others believe it will be), then we can get into the why’s and how’s of this whole mess – good, bad, and/or ugly. Then again, everyone else will probably be doing that too, so that means it will be the cool thing to do, which certainly makes it not the cool thing to do – so count me out. Ah, the life of the sports hipster. Maybe we’ll just concentrate on the march to the national championship game, shall we? What’s that you say? There are football games left to be played in the midst of this train wreck carny meth circus? Why certainly. Idaho is on the clock.
I know, this game isn’t even worthy of a finely crafted preview, but I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy and we have to be fair, so Idaho gets its brief moment in the sun. The Vandals have one win on the season, a 26-24 nail biter against the Temple Owls at the Kibbie Dome. Not Kibble, Kibbie. From the outside, the Kibbie Dome looks like a 1950’s Cold War-era bomb shelter (fitting, since their campus is located in Moscow……Idaho). Besides having a bomb shelter as a stadium, really the only other thing they have going for them is their mascot – Joe Vandal. He’s like a viking-Super Mario-70’s porn star hopped up on roids.
FSU is currently 10-0, #2 in the BCS, and sitting pretty for a spot in the BCS National Championship Game in Pasadena. That is, if everything shakes out for Jameis Winston.
What The Vandals Are Working With:
The Kibbie Dome
Joe Vandal – Viking. Mario Brother. 70’s Porn Star.
Why FSU Will Win: Come on.
What Worries Me: The only worry here is that this very well may be Jameis Winston’s final game as a Seminole. Except it won’t be, so really the only thing to worry about here is some type of injury to a key player. You know, slip and fall in the tunnel, shower mishap (not the Penn State kind), what have you.
Watch Out For: Flying debris? Falling rocks?
What I’d Like To See: Definitely would like to see backup QB Sean Maguire get some quality time with the first team this week. He should rack up plenty of PT against the Vandals, and getting your backup QB reps in an actual game is never a bad thing. Like I said before, no serious injuries this week would also be a nice bonus, as the boys are essentially tuning up for their showdown with the lizards in Hogtown next weekend.
Weather: 78* at kickoff (Tallahassee, FL) / Few showers, 30% precipitation
Vegas: FSU – 57 / Over-Under: 69
Prediction: Again, equal opportunity for all teams on the schedule, so we’ll go through the motions. FSU kindly obliterates Idaho en route to 11-0, setting up a payback beat down of epic proportions, upcoming legal ramifications (or not) withstanding.
FSU 63 Idaho 6
Tailgate Food Of The Week: (In honor of our friends from Idaho)
Plant The Spear: Idaho Vandals by David Botello